With messages that people are born broken and will continue to be broken, individuals can begin to believe that they are irredeemable even if they practice and believe exactly as they are told. These messages may be reinforced by specific leadership, family members, community members, or friends.

Guilt can be used as a way to coerce, influence, or control people into doing (or not doing) what someone else wants. Guilt and its relative shame linger even after the act or interaction between people has ended. In addition to forcing people to suffer alone with their feelings, shame-based communities ignore, deny, or cover up any wrongdoings.

Examples of guilt and shame can include placing boundaries on family members, “honoring” those in leadership, saying “no” and self-advocating for any reason, feeling forced to serve to meet a need when you don’t have the energy or desire, people struggling with addiction or being told a normal behavior is an addiction (such as usual sexual behavior), and of course there is a lot of guilt and shame associated with sex.

Some religions participate in rituals or other expectations around people’s behavior that can foster perfectionism in order to avoid shame, embarrassment, or divine punishment. This type of perfectionism can result in anxiety and stress, and some people develop obsessive compulsive disorder.

Hypervigilence is a state of anxiety where a person is constantly watching for real or perceived danger in order to keep themselves safe. Some religions paint their deity as vengeful and punishing. They can also include the threat of impending apocalypse and an eternity of torment. Some communities focus on these concepts to use fear as a means of control, and people can experience stress and anxiety.

Religion can be a wonderful source of community, with people hosting events to include new members, creating opportunities to care for people in need, and fostering an environment where people feel like they belong to a larger family. When people begin to question their religious beliefs, they may experience rejection, gossip, and judgment from those they used to consider friends or family. It is particularly difficult for people who face this rejection with their spouse or children. Those leaving their religion or deconverting may experience increased isolation and loneliness until they are able to develop new social circles.

When raised in a specific belief system or having a particular person being an authority, people may struggle with feeling confident in making decisions outside of the religion or institution they used to be a part. Making decisions different from their former community’s beliefs may also lead to gossip or judgment, which may further affect a person’s confidence in themselves.

Some religions have long histories dictating who can have sex, when, and how, and anyone who acts outside of these rules can experience judgment or isolation. Alternatively, some communities have leaders engaging in inappropriate or coercive sexual behavior and are protected from being held responsible for it. Whether one is the victim of judgment or the victim of sexual trauma (or both!), they may experience the symptoms of post-traumatic stress and may need intervention.

Some form of purity culture has existed for decades, particularly in conservative and specific communities (such as Bible colleges), but the current trend came to a head in the 1990s where youths were asked to “kiss dating goodbye”, wear purity rings, make purity promises, seek secondary virginity, and hold themselves “pure” until they get married. There were consequences to this movement, including lack of comprehensive sex education, men/women/nonbinary folks experiencing guilt or shame even within marriage, mistreatment of LGBTQIPA+ people, people getting married young and missing out on finding themselves, being married to an abusive partner with little community support, forcing momogamy on people who are naturally nonmonogamous, and a number of other situations. For those who never married, they may experience shame if they ever participated in sexual activity or they may have their sexual development stunted due to physical/romantic/sexual isolation well into adulthood. People may choose to leave purity culture even if they choose to remain in their religion, and they require education and support to create a new sexual identity for themselves.

Religious trauma and spiritual abuse can exist without violence or the threat of violence, but for some physical punishment and violence are a reality. Some communities focus on corporal punishment for small children up to adults, which can be severe and resulting in lasting harm or even death. Some communities have issues with sexual assault or molestation of children that are covered up and there is increased difficulty for victims to seek help. In situations where behaviors are denied or protected, it is also possible for people to enact abuse on their spouse or children and victims struggle to find support within their communities.